Narcotics and stupidity and dumber and dumber..

Can't believe how lack of sense I have. Can't find anything...purse, phone, keys, hands to hold. Most of the time I just want a hand to hold. I can't even drive a stick by myself because of the narcotics and I might fall over. No wonder I never did drugs when I was young. I like to be in control. I want to know that THIS IS ME AND AND I'M NOT GOING TO HURT ANYONE.

6 in the a.m. and I can't walk by myself because because I might wipe out and get confused. I take an early morning bible class (SALT) and know some of the ladies from my Y Healthy living class. How fun to recognize them. And have reconnected with friends from Elkhorn, WI who are going through similar things with me. How our lives are following a pattern where we can actually help each other and be there for each other. God is NOT leaving us alone to be alone. How wonderful. I am taking a trip to Orono, MN when Terry, Allison, Sebastian and Arleigh move next week. It's supposed to be about a 4 hour drive. We'll see. I hope the drive isn't that long.

I will sorely miss the baby. She has gotten so much personality in her little body and is always laughing and fun. She is one happy baby. I will miss her to pieces. She certainly does like to sleep with her grandmma and anyone else she can pat down for food. She's special. I will upload some pictures and everyone can see how wonderful she is. And yes, Virginia, she DOES get up at 6:30 a.m. and she IS happy to be up and around and go to the library and go out to breakfast and do things early because we are EARLY morning people. I don't care what anyone else says. WE GET UP EARLY!. I will miss my pooh-doll. I'm excited to be with her and pat her down and make sure she has just as junky food to eat as me. No candy bars though. Love my baby's. Wanted her to be here. today, tomorrow, yesterday, and all the days in between.

We'll figure everything out. Love all my kids and animals. Momma-Sue

No photos on todays blogspot. Will have the kids snap some soon. Yes, I'm on dexamethasone again...as well as lots of narcotics. I was meandering along in the sun wondering why my incision site hurt so much, not realizing that I had bone mets and horror!!!! brain mets. My brain must be pretty small because I have absolutely no indication of seizures or anything else that would be affecting my mental acuity (if I still have any).

The narotics are helping immensely with the rib tumors. I have about nine "generous" sized tumors in my brain - two over my optic nerves so my sight gets funky once in a while; have only had 3 instances of impaired peripheral vision - and maybe two or three headaches. All in all, I'm pretty lucky. No seizures, no seizures and the fun part is, my brother and sisters are doing slumber parties with me. It is SO SO much fun. Brother Pat looks like a 6 foot long coccoon laid out on the living room floor. We fall asleep earlier than regular slumber parties, but wake up so much earlier too and lay around talking and drinking coffee and laughing and snorting. I love my family. It's almost like mom and dad are up in their room and we're all downstairs waiting for Santa to come.

And it does seem magical. The magical part is that we're together loving each other and laughing. Surrounded by my big kids and my sisters and brother and my sibling little kids.

Life is good. God is good. I'm having a great time loving my family.

West Des Moines, IA
5:00 pm
10-10-11

Lots of drama is going on but I won't talk about it now. If you're family, you know, if you're close friends, you know...if not, you really don't want to know.

Love to all...oh, we've been eating a lot of good food and my brother is letting me use his two-seater convertible as the only item on my bucket list!!!!! I get it tonight!!!!! I'm over the moon!

Susan K