Another "All Clear" - Over A YEAR!!

Arleigh thinks all this is so much hot air!

My last CT scan was January 7 of this year. During my doctor's appt. on the 11th I was given the "all clear". I do have some spots she's watching: it's radiation fibrosis. Those "spots" are by the scar tissue in the left lung and have not changed from previous scans.

I must be a vain person because I am still crying over my lost hair. I know, I know, I have hair that is at least 3" long (no Rapunzel yet). Bozo yes, Barbie no. It's so shockingly curly that I can't even blow dry bangs (you know, the fringe around my face). The darned hair just keeps curling right up. My sister-in-law Nancy is a beautician (that means making people - i.e. me - beautiful) and I do have an appointment with her this week. We're going to experiment to see what can be done to make me look like a sexy bombshell instead of Grandma Standley. Yes, my grandmother was a beautiful grandmother, I just don't want to look like her right now. In 15 years I would be flattered, but right now -- WAHHH!!!

So there you have it, folks. I'm still crying the blues. Just over my hair. I realize now just how much hair can change the entire aspect of first impression.

The cough. The Advair has really helped this yucky old cough (radiation pneumonitis). Seems to have come back a little over the past three weeks. Not as bad, but a bit of coughing now and then...dry cough. The nurse called me after my visit with the "all clear" diagnosis and said one of my blood labs came back high and I'll need to redo that next week. Maybe even redo the CT scan. I'll not borrow trouble until I need to. What has Aisling (my 15-year-old daughter) convinced me of? I've been weaning myself off an anti-depressant I had been taking this past year (since I'm Miss Vim, Vigor, Voluptuous - 10# more voluptuous than previous)and don't feel the need for it. Citalapram. Awful stuff trying to get off of it. Makes my brain feel as if it's on a roller coaster while the rest of my body is standing still. A bit disorienting. I did wean myself over a month - guess it takes longer. Back to the main thread...this drug probably has skewed my blood tests according to Ling. The way I feel, I believe her.

All of you who know me know that I usually am a 6 hours of sleep person. This past month I've been setting my alarm clock! I can sleep for 10 hours. Thank you citalapram. Another side effect of withdrawal. Wouldn't you think I'd be absolutely gorgeous by now what with all that sleep? I still look like Fern Agnes. Ha ha.

All joking aside, I'm delighted and filled with wonder and gratitude each day when I awaken. I poke fun of my hair, but THANK YOU, GOD! I HAVE HAIR and curly hair (be careful what you wish for) and eyelashes and my same old eyebrows. I'm starting a new business with my daughters and am EXCITED and busy. The new improved me is coming to the surface. I can hardly wait to see what the three of us will accomplish together.

I'm not sure I was ever the cookie-baking mom, but my energies have always been focused on "momness" and now the circle is complete.

Love to all my friends and family -- JB, you have a birthday coming up next month, don't you? What, 29?





January 16, 2011
8:25 a.m.
West Des Moines - not Ponte Vedra Beach

Merry Christmas!!

I love Christmastime. The lights on the tree; the twinkling decorations that are oh so tempting to little baby hands...the smells of cinnamon baking in the pumpkin roll as well as the scents which only can be sniffed at this time of year. (It's also cowbook time; and those of you who know me know that during Christmas break, I TYPE AND TYPE AND TYPE).

I'm so excited for my kids to be home this year...I've made quicke lorraine and shrimp quiches, crepe skins and chicken crepe mix; chocolate no-bake cookies (hey, Beverly, you left out ONE ingredient - no wonder they don't taste quite right), oatmeal choco-chip cookies, Grandma Conyers' fudge, Marie Kumbina's pumpkin rolls, and will make regular chocolate chip cookies today and tomorrow will be the stuffed shells with homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs. And last, but not least, EGGNOG! Nothing on earth tastes like homemade eggnog, with a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon (and a bunch of rum or brandy!)

Everyone has their Christmas traditions. The Kokott's open their presents on Christmas morning. As the kids have gotten older, the "Santa came, Santa Came!" phrase doesn't sound until around 10 a.m. Wish John were here to celebrate Christmas with us. He was the Big Santa with the big ho-ho-ho! laugh. I'm sure he'll be with us in spirit.

As I look at all my children, as well as my onliest Arleigh Angel (sweet baby-girl), I see the continuation of John and Susan Kokott reflected in the eyes and smiles, the laughter and joy of my beautiful family. If I had to say what the point of my life is, it's the family we created...the family we continue to create with those we love and with whom we share our lives. Some family is blood, other family is made by shared times of joy, sorrow, confidences and conversation. Above all, family is love and laughter. I don't remember so much the times I've cried, as the times I've laughed UNTIL I cried.

From my family to yours - Love, peace, and happiness this Christmas season.




Susan K
West Des Moines, IA
12/21/2010

Will post photos when my family is home again starting on the 23rd.

Silver Bells ringing in the Snow!

I hate to admit that it's been so long since I've posted anything. Life has been exciting and full of busy-ness. My granddaughter Arleigh has been spending quite a bit of time at my now "child-proofed" house. She's almost 9 months old and is into everything she can reach...and believe me, she has a boarding house reach! (Like a Conyers.)

All my CT scans have been "NED" (no evidence of cancer) as well as my latest at the end of September. The cough was out of control (radiation pneumonitis) and the prednisone didn't help or heal...just made me gain about 18 pounds!!! Ouch (and yuck).

(As you can tell from the pic, I have eyebrows and eyelashes again...also still have a smear of blackness from my black eye under my right eye. The doctor said I'll have to go to a plastic surgeon to get rid of that dog-pulling accident! I'm not sure if it's worth it.)

Went to a pulmonary specialist at the end of October and got on Advair as well as an albuterol inhaler and "ta-da" no more cough. Also, no more excuses not to go back to work. Now that I know work is just around the corner, I'm finding so many things to do!

I'm healthier and wiser than I was last year at this time. Joyful and thankful for my wonderful friends and family. The kids are all coming home this year for Christmas since we now all live in Iowa, Wisconsin, and Illinois (no more Arizona kids). I think I'd rather go to Arizona for Christmas. First snow of the year, first shoveling of the year, and already I'm ready for summer...and more summer vacation at the beach!!!

Visited my big sister in Vancouver, WA. What a relaxing, great, motivating time. Thanks, Anne Marie.

Just wanted to wish one and all a very Merry Christmas and joyous Holiday Season.

West Des Moines

December 14, 2010

3:01 p.m.

Home again, home again, rig-a-jig-jig

A photo of Lexy, my daughter Kate's dog. We're watching her while she and her husband go to Costa Rica...yes, ANOTHER VACATION! Some people have the life. Lexy had surgery to remove a cancerous nodule from her head. The vet thinks she got it all and we're hoping Lexy is going to be okay.

My backyard certainly is not the ocean. Before I lose the magic and awesome feeling of that vacation, we booked a house for next year and most of my sisters and adult children have committed to another two weeks next year.

The house is a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house, almost 3000 sq.ft. and on the same beach; about 20 houses south. I wish I could've stayed for an additional week. When I'm older, I plan on moving to Florida. Oh, how absolutely wonderful. I'd sit on the beach with my book and forget to read for watching and listening to the waves. Calming, relaxing, recharging. Good for talking with God and actually hearing His voice.

I do look like a Puffer Fish, (not a frog yet) what with the prednisone. I'm down to 10 mg. a day and next week I'll only take half that - if the cough doesn't come back. I have a bit of a cough on the 10 mg., I just want to get back to normal.

August 21, 2010

1:11 p.m.

West Des Moines, IA

Packing up....wahhhhhh

Our last sunrise was overcast - which makes it that much easier to say good-bye.

Scout LOVED the beach once he realized the towel was his and he didn't have to lay his face in the sand. He did end up swimming in the tide pools. He met a female dalmation and fell in love this vacation. Ah, puppy love.

My black eyes are almost gone - the prednisone is still bloating me and it is discouraging - but I keep telling myself "it's only temporary".

We went to San Sebastian Winery for the wine tour and tasting last night. How neat. Ended up buying six bottles of wine between us.


Getting ready to pack up the car. Next year....

S. Ponte Vedra, Fl

August 7, 2010 7:32 a.m.

The Party is Breaking Up....

This is the last sunrise the six sisters will spend together this year. We've decided we had so much fun, we're going to do it again next year, same time - same place!

And here is baby sister Stephanie all bummed out because the limo is picking her up at 9:30 and she can't even go down to the beach. "Just a couple more days! I'm not ready to go home."

Katie paddle boarding...early in the morning as the waves aren't too tremendous yet. (They did get pretty powerful as the day wore on.)

Jon out surfing...Emily got out really far on the paddle board this morning. Yesterday she got cut up trying to get it out past the breaking waves. (That was in the afternoon.) The kids all got up around 6:30 this a.m. to try it before the waves really started roaring.

Jon and Emily enjoying a drink (water, water everywhere but never a drop to drink) as they read their books.

Kate and Lauren trying to figure out if we're going to the wine tasting tonight since Emily and Jon went to a gator farm and into St. Augustine already.

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Thursday, August 5, 2010 5:14 p.m.

Boo-hoo! It's almost time to come home. No! No! Give me another week or two. This is truly Paradise.

Beautiful Weather, Beautiful People