Scout tried to kill me!

HE was just too too excited to see Kate and Lauren on the beach, so he "flew" me down the beach stairs - vertical - until my cheek/eye/forehead crashed into a vertical deck post. Blood everywhere - black eye - nothing worse than that except for the goose egg on my forehead and a swollen left above the ankle. I CRIED! Ouch, it really hurt - Wiley Coyote, move over! After icing it for 2 hours, the swelling went down and I can see out of my eye. Hopefully, the black eye will be gone by Friday or Saturday.

Can't believe my luck being so bad lately with falls - kind of think it may be the chemo still. I'm going to drink it out of me!

Sunday, July 25th, 2010
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Sand Pipers

This is what I awoke to at 5:45 this morning. The windows are all steamed up from the a/c inside and the humidity outside. There is a breeze that blows across the deck all day and night from the continual movement of the water. Very few flying bugs.

Took Scout for his "constitutional" this morning and man, oh man, the spiders in their webs are all over the place...had to duck to get down the stairs. Lots of big green (1") bugs were caught in the webs. Have to remember to look up for webs.

The sun is shining, Kate got in around 1:30 to the house - her flight was delayed out of O'Hare because of weather along the route. Ling, Lauren, Scout, and Kate are still sleeping as I sit here typing this and drinking coffee. Vacation is a wonderful thing! We plan on spending the entire day at the beach - reading, drinking, eating. I'm not planning on starting a diet anytime in the next two weeks. Wish I'd been able to rent a house big enough for all my friends to join us. I can't tell you all just how happy I am to be here.

Sunday, July 25, 2010
6:11 a.m.
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Kicking back on :Ponte Vedra Beach

Yippee! We made it. The house is gorgeous; spacious, 3 bdrms, 3 baths, very clean, and most significantly important - right on the beach. The crash of the waves, the cry of the gulls - it's almost deafening. We'll be sleeping great for two weeks!

Rums - spiced, dark, light, vodka, teqiula, beer...wines; white and red. We're stocked up for that lost shaker of salt.



We pick Kate up at JAX tonight at 11 and spend a week relaxing - or relaxing as much as Kate will let us, what with all her organizing! The sisters come next week. Scout already loves it. He was afraid of the waves for about 2 seconds, now he's jumping in them, body surfing, no less, and doing his dog paddle, chasing after the sand pipers and gulls.

More to come tomorrow.

Saturday, July 24th, 2010 7:06 pm

Vacation's all we ever wanted!!!!

What beautiful country we've been driving through. Sunshine, great highways, little traffic, except when we hit Atlanta, GA...stop and go for over an hour. My car got an adrenalen (sp?) rush when it almost hit the car in front of it (bad car! bad car!) and the outside temp went up to 122! Maybe my car is going through menopause? No, it was really that hot outside the car...all that traffic, generating all that heat on the asphalt/concrete. Whoa.

Our second day of travel, we drove all the way to Jacksonville. The drive has been very relaxing and fun. Lauren decided to feed Scout raisens (which the poor little guy chewed and chewed and chewed) and then, as Aisling was sleeping, he threw them up into her hand. We all laughed so hard...yes, even Aisling!

Scout IS in Dog Heaven. We were reloading the trunk yesterday and he wanted to get moving again and was so excited about getting back in the car, he jumped into the trunk and lay there waiting. His "spot" is half in the back, half in the front. We put a pillow from the back seat onto the front seat console and he lays his head on the pillow and watches between Lauren and me. He's a funny little thing. Hasn't barked once this whole trip. (He HAS whined. The big baby. He wants to be back on the road.)

We can't get into the house until 3 so will mosey around Jacksonville and go to the beach. Can hardly wait for the rest of my kids and my sisters to arrive! Two weeks!

Will post photos tonight when I unpack the camera and take shots of the beach and house. Love to all.

Oh, I do have radiation pneumonitis. (Back in April/May I thought I did, but the dr. didn't think so. Now she thinks so.) Have been on roids so I rarely sleep. I've only gained 1 1/2# - all in my cheeks! The cough is a little better, but at times it is discouraging. I feel 100% and then when the cough kicks in, 75%. I'll lick this - the cure is worse than the disease. (smile) Who cares? I'M ON VACATION!

July 24, 2010
7:23 a.m. - Ramada Inn, Jacksonville, FL

Ponte Vedra Beach aka Margaritaville

I am so excited I can barely sit still! I have beach chairs, loungers, beach umbrellas, Scout's food, sand buckets, toys, treats, and retractible leash (just in case a big fish tries to eat him for dinner - we can REEL him back in). Anne Marie, Debbie, KD, Bev, and Stephanie will be arriving July 30th through August 5th.. (my sisters), and son Jon and Emily will also arrive at that time. Kate, Lauren, Ling, Scout and I are making this a road trip and are eagerly mapping out the most scenic route.

It has been so wonderful to have this vacation with loved ones to look forward to. Allie, Terry, and grandbaby girl Arleigh won't be able to make it - they will be packing up their home in beautiful Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and moving to Des Moines, IA. Terry got a promotion and will be working out of the Ankeny store (Home Depot). They will be here the first week of August. Tim and Kristy (Terry's folks) will be helping them make the move.

The only shadow has been the radiation pneumonitis. I thought I had it back in April and asked the dr. but she didn't think so at that time. Now, she thinks so. I have been on prednisone (great for the firm figure! not) and have been like a Mexican jumping bean...asleep at 1:30 and up at 4. By the third day of that routine, I'm out like a light at 9:30. Ah, the days of early to bed are long gone.
I've had so much energy, even with the stupid cough, that I've taken to walking Scout again at night. Without a hat!! My hair is about an inch long - dark, dark, dark, and believe it or not, that's not eyebrow pencil, but honest to goodness eyebrows and eyelashes. (My hair is so soft...Aisling and Lauren like to run their hands through it.) Blush - so do I. I was driving around in my car today with the windows open and could actually FEEL wind blowing through my hair. What a weird feeling. Something I always took for granted before. I could feel my hair moving. It's still Twiggy-short hair, but oh, it's real and it's mine!

Optimism is the rule for the next month! I feel on top of the world emotionally as well as physically (hair, beautiful hair...never gonna cut it).

July 20, 2010
9:31 pm

Hot, stormy summer mornings..

Never thought I'd ever sleep in again. I'm usually a "wake up at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m." kind of person. A good thunderstorm sure knocks out that kind of behavior. Some mornings I even sleep now until 7:30 or if it's the weekend, 8:30 or 9. Can you say "alleluia"? (I'm not even sure I can spell it.

Of course, maybe I've been sleeping late for the past few weeks as I've not been feeling tip-top. Had my scanxiety appt. today and...lo! and behold...I'm not a hypochondriac...I have bronchitis, which is why I've been coughing and feeling fatigued lately. Hopefully I got some good drugs and will be back to my new normal in a few days. Should have called the doctor and gone in sooner, but old Miss Doom and Gloom was scared of hearing bad news. Instead, NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE once again. Yippee! (Both lungs were bothering me, so you may see why I was anxious.) Something did show up on both lungs, which is why the doctor says I have bronchitis. Not tumors.

My head is no longer bald...more like a wet rat right now...dark, dark, surprisingly dark and if it's not curly, then I have about 200 cowlicks going on. It's going to take a little longer for my lashes to return....wahhhh!

Enough about that. My car was in the shop getting road worthy for the trip to St. Augustine...ALL five of my sisters will be vacationing with us, and all my kids (some the whole two weeks, some only 5 days) and my granddaughter will be joining us. Why am I driving? Can't leave my little Scout behind. He is getting his own personalized life jacket and Margarita bowl. Right on the beach...how relaxing and fun it all sounds. Am going to make the dream a reality...with my family, how can it be anything but fun?

I go back to the onco in a month (sooner if I'm not feeling better w/the antibiotics and steroids) for X-rays to make sure all the fluid has cleared up from both lungs.
Will blog again then.

9:07 p.m.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Kicking the Chemo Blues

Not quite sure if I'm having a reaction to the taxotere, the hydrocodone, or the neulasta shot, but right after chemo I get the blues. Wow, all those horrible stats stick in my mind, playing over and over until I reboot my brain and do something totally different.

The weather hasn't cooperated in making this an easier time - although I do admit I love a good thunderstorm and we have had some doozies!

(Fingers crossed) I had my last chemo (of all time) on the 10th of May. Will go in on the 21st of June for a CT scan to show NED (no evidence of disease) - or that's the plan. My hair is coming in and given another another couple weeks (maybe six), I should be sporting a "Twiggy" haircut. My big sister says how beautiful I am with short hair (I used to wear it very, very short). I'm older now but seriously, I think there is something to the "chemo skin"...I've been told I "glow" by several people in my support groups. I think it's all the exercise and sitting in the sauna I've been attempting lately. Although you can have the elliptical machine - ouch! And for all the bike riding I used to do in Elkhorn, I can only ride for about 5 minutes before pausing. It'll come.

I've joined several support groups, one at John Stoddard Cancer Center, and two at the YMCA - the Y groups meet every Wednesday. I'm also volunteering for Hospice. I actually got paperwork to fill out this time. I asked about volunteering at the hospital also but they DON'T NEED VOLUNTEERS! That was hard to believe.

I'm trying to do one thing every day but since Monday it's been tough. This chemo is so fatiguing. I'm looking forward to a future filled with good things; watching my granddaughter grow, watching MY daughter grow into a beautiful young woman, as well as following the lives of my big kids. Lauren is hanging in there with me and won't be moving back to Chicago until the end of August or the beginning of September. I am considering a move to a warmer climate with some of my big kids (who are all for it and ready, willing, and able). Just not sure now is the time to be moving. I still want to see what's around the corner here. I'm positive I moved to Iowa for a reason. I'd like to find that reason. (smile)

This blog isn't all that articulate. I did want everyone to know I'm at the end of this first part of my recovery journey. I am working on where I go from here since it seems I've lost so much along this path. I know, I know, when God closes the door, he opens a window. I'm ready for some of those nice breezes blowing in on me. I just need to stay open and listen to find my new direction. Thank you for being here for me, friends, Grapeviners, brothers, sisters, and family.