CT scan`

My CT scan was clean; everything looks good. Did the taxotere - no allergic reaction to it. The nurse told me that since I'm only doing 3 rounds of this, I shouldn't have any of the uncommon side effects. It's folks who have to do six or more doses that generally get the weird side effects. So I'M GOOD. Will have another CT scan in 3 mos but am positive that all will be clean with that one too.

Just a brief note to let you all know that I'M CLEAR OF ANY TUMORS (and hopefully cancer) at this point. And plan to stay that way. I have to get a shot tomorrow to help keep my red and white counts at an acceptable low over the next 10-11 days. But shouldn't get nauseous from any of this. Keeping my thoughts positive (and my fingers crossed).

March 29, 2010
2:33 pm

Taxotere starts today

Am leaving in an hour and a half for the hospital to do labs, talk to the doc about results of the CT scan I had done last Thursday and start the 1st of 3 rounds of taxotere.

I have been very on the fence about doing this last chemo. While it's not as harsh on the body as Cisplatin (which really made me sick to my stomach), there are side effects that, while though rare, do occur and can cause permanent damage to organs, nails, hair, as well as neuropathy. I have been praying for guidance about whether to take this chemo or not. The doctor said she hasn't seen any permanent effects in any of her patients.

While I was at a Grapeviners' luncheon, a guest "Grapeviner" was there who is an 8-year survivor of breast cancer. She marveled that I hadn't lost my eyelashes or eyebrows although, sadly, my hair (on my head) didn't survive chemo. As we talked she encouraged me to go through these last three rounds...yes, I might get some of the side effects; but as with radiation and my last chemo, the side effects do abate at some point.

I am able to swallow; the horrible acid that caused me to throw up each time I'd take a bite of something is all but gone. I still have a cough - radiation pneumonitis? I'll hear some answers today.

My daughter from Chicago is coming for a short visit (and to pick up her dog) and I'm excited. Still haven't seen my grandbaby, but am hopeful that after
Easter I'll be in Lake Geneva holding and kissing my little Arleigh Kane.

To all for reading/following my blog, thank you and God bless! (I'm feeling good.)

March 29, 2010
7:37 a.m.

Life Moves Us Along...

Yipee! I'm a grandmother now so yes, I do have bragging rights! My first grandchild was born yesterday at 7:15 a.m. A whopping 7.14 and 20" long. Allison said she's a good baby, quiet. (I wouldn't bet on that lasting too long.)

Having cancer and trying to decide if I should do these last rounds of chemo (taxotere - scary side effects) I've lost my perspective a bit. Life seems to revolve around me and what I'm going through. When Arleigh was born (yesterday), I realized that life moves us right along and will continue to do so whether I am here or not. I plan on being here. I have to be a grandma who spoils her grandkids. I'll keep gum and lifesavers in my purse and always have decadent food for them to get sick on, and take them to all the fun places their folks are too tired for. I can't imagine not being here to watch my daughter become a wonderful mother. To see how she handles defiance and stubborness in her own child. Not that I would curse her with a child like she used to be to me. And I did promise her I would come over to her house and jump on her furniture and spit gum on her floor. (smile)

Love you, Allison and Terry; thank you for my beautiful granddaughter.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010
2:30 p.m.

Radiation and Relationships...

Most of you are aware that my long-term, "committed as though married" significant other has disappeared on me after four years. While I'm not a mind reader, I'm going to assume that his comments, "I don't like to be around negative people"...and "the pain you're feeling would probably feel like a mosquito bite to me", and let's not forget him yelling at me, "if you need the f***ing medicine, I'll get the f***ing money and buy it." He also was angry that I didn't pick up the phone when I was in the bathroom getting sick and neglected to call him back because I was too exhausted. I did beg him to come over anytime; "you have my garage code, just come in; I need you." I asked him if he would come over for 10 minutes or so a couple times a week at lunch (we live less than a mile apart). When I tried to pin him down on when he could come over, he had an excuse for every day and then never called again.

The last I heard from him was on the 21st or 22nd of February. I'm not surprised. The man is a mirror image of his inner character; which in my mind is pretty poor. In his defense I could say he's just scared and never faced much adversity in his life. I'm glad the majority of people in relationships really mean what they say. I can't imagine leaving my husband, abandoning him when he was diagnosed with melanoma. Now that was a difficult time in my family's life because his survival was 0 to 3 months. There was no treatment, no remission for him. With me, I'll be "cured" (according to all the doctors) after I finish these last 3 rounds of chemo.

I'll be back to being me by summer. Just this couple weeks of being low, fatigued and sick before returning to normal. I've had the couple weeks of sickness; which, by the way, started about the time Larry disappeared and now things are looking up again.

I'm desparately seeking Rapunzel - if any of you know where she hangs out these days, I'd appreciate the heads up. I'm looking for fast hair-growth tips! (smile)

March 21, 2010
6:07 a.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is another anniversary of my 39th birthday and I'm feeling pretty good! The temperature is supposed to get up to 63 degrees (yeah!) and the sun is actually shining. These last several weeks (especially from the 26th of February til now) have been the hardest in terms of fatigue and feeling sick that I've ever been through in my life. I'm able to keep food down at least even though the acid reflux from radiation and chemo is still horrible - just not AS horrible. I'm finally feeling like my "strength" is coming back (or is that just the sunshine?)today as I've actually done housework (much needed) most of the morning without too many "breaks" on the couch.

Lexy, my Chicago daughter's Chow/Lab mix is with us and she is keeping our dog Scout on his toes...or rather, she's keeping him in hiding. He's afraid of her and won't come out from his hiding spots. Poor little guy.

I have until the 29th to decide if I'm going to do these last 3 rounds of taxotere. I've read a lot of scary stuff about it (permanent hair loss and gnarly toenails and fingernails forever) and discussed it with the doctor. I don't know that this will do a whole lot but the doctor thinks it will help protect the next 50 years. She says the hardest thing about being a younger person with lung cancer is all the years she has to protect. If I were 80, there wouldn't be all that many years. Good and bad.

Have a date for lunch (woo-hoo) and then out to a 3D movie tonight with friends...am very excited to see "Alice". What a great day to be out of the house!

March 18, 2010

9:27 a.m.

COME HOME MOM!!!!

Scout's just a mess without Mom. Let's pray for her return home soon for Scout's sake!

Another Dollar, Another Day

Here's Day Two in the hospital...she looks good, but she doesn't feel good :( She's been throwing up today as well and has only had a few sips of chicken broth and a third of a popsicle. The GI specialist came in today and he scheduled an upper GI endoscopy for tomorrow to see if she's fighting some sort of infection in her stomach or esophagus. They have to confirm that her blood counts are all up tomorrow, so they aren't going to schedule her a specific appointment until she has a better blood count. She's getting two units of blood transfused right now and she has a low-grade temperature, so all in all, it's been a pretty rough few days (and weeks) for her.
Beverly stopped by today, but Mom was sleeping the majority of her visit, but KayDee's stopping by tomorrow morning so she'll hopefully be feeling better by then. She loves the visits and the phone calls so keep them coming. She wants everyone to know that she knows she has a ton of e-mails, but she hasn't been checking her e-mail in awhile (her computer is back at Best Buy getting fixed again). I'm staying the night with her at the hospital tonight, so I'll keep you all posted on her progress. You can post on here and I'll be checking this and reading all comments to her, so post away!


This is a picture of all the fluids, potassium and blood they're dripping into her right now.

Where in the WORLD is SUSIE!?!?!?!?!?

Don't worry everyone, guest blogger Lauren here. I'm sorry if you've all been wondering how my mom's been doing since she hasn't posted in over a week, but last week was a pretty rough one for her. She was at the hospital every day last week getting fluids and anti-nausea drugs intravenously. Everything she attempted to eat or drink came right back up (as well as the medications--INCLUDING THE ONES THAT WERE OVER $100 A PILL--AFTER insurance!!!), so she had no choice but to come in. Allie had her baby shower over the weekend in Lake Geneva and Mom was set on making it to both Chicago (to see Kate's place) and Wisconsin for the party...and she was optimistic that she would feel well. All the fluids and long-lasting anti-nausea drugs they pumped into her unfortunately failed her little body :( So Suz was pretty sick all weekend...she threw up the entire way home yesterday...and hadn't even eaten anything but a few bites of chicken Saturday afternoon. I called the on-call doctor last night and he said that I had to take her into the ER. The thought of getting back in the car was too much for her though, so we went first thing this morning. She went to her radiation (she's got an extreme case of esophagitis), she talked to her Dr's nurse, she had bloodwork done (all her counts were way down), she met with a medical oncologist and he advised her to be admitted immediately. Apparently she's lost ten pounds in the last week--the doctor said she can't even have a feeding tube because her stomach is comparable to raw hamburger--ick. So, she's here at Methodist and will be until at least Wednesday. I'm sorry I didn't sugarcoat anything, but I know that you all worry and really want to know how she's doing. She's sad; she aches; she's absolutely starving; she's thirsty (can't even as much as take a SIP of water); she has absolutely no energy (sitting up even exhausts her)...she's finally optimistic now that she's at the hospital because she feels as though she'll finally be able to eat again (they told her she won't be leaving the hospital until she eats again).
Poor little Scout has been so lonely at home and is patiently awaiting Mom getting better again...he's been wallowing around the house, wearing scarves in support of her hair loss. He's so stinkin cute!
Thank you everyone for your prayers, kind words of support, cards, phone calls, gift cards, meals, flowers, books, visits, scarves, hats, cookies (Debbie, the spritz were gone in hours!), cleaning services...my mom has really appreciated all that you've done for her. Debbie and Stephanie, between the two of you, I think she gets a card every day!!! :) When Mom gets out of the hospital, hopefully she'll feel well enough to blog again! She also has a stack of thank you cards I need to send out, so you'll all be receiving mail here shortly!!! Honestly though everyone, your support means more to her than you could know, so keep calling, keep writing and keep on stopping over! Until then...I will be guest blogging!!!!