Making tracks

In June I had a cough that I attributed to a respiratory infection that I got while working with a special ed student. Through the summer I continued to cough. I remember one night as I was watching television, I timed the interval between coughs to about 2 minutes. For those of you who DON'T know me, I LOVE to talk as much as I like to listen to a good story. This cough was devastating...I couldn't talk without coughing.

I was scared because this wasn't the typical kind of cough I get when I get a cold...just a non-productive cough that wouldn't go away. My oldest daughter was getting married in October and, as a widow, I would be giving some little speech on her big day and didn't want to exclamation point each word with a cough. I tried to get into Dr.'s Now (a walk-in clinic) and waited an hour before deciding I had too much to do and would return after the wedding.

The following Monday I had chest x-rays taken. The doctor there told me there was a spot (about 2 cm.) on my left lung and she recommended a CT scan. (This was about 10/19/09). I had the CT scan and it came back with no real diagnosis. A visit to a pulmonary specialist was then made sometime in November and by the 30th I had been in for a lung needle biopsy as well as a PET scan. (Why did I wait so long?) The diagnosis which came on December 2nd was "You have lung cancer. Adenocarcinoma, looks like stage 1A. We'll get you into a thoracic surgeon and he'll perform surgery to remove the lower left lobe of your lung and you should live to be an OLD lady (yeah, the old lady who lived in the shoe...)

The photo above is the aftermath of the incision. As you may be able to tell from the designer gown, I was still in the hospital. (smile) I will say although it hurts like a son of a gun still, my staples/skin healed very fast. (Let's hear GOOD SKIN...yes, I have wrinkles, but HEALTHY wrinkles...not that many...I don't wear my cheaters so if I have them, I can't see them. I'm rambling....get used to it.)

After the surgery, I was surprised when the chemo oncologist and then the radiation oncologist came in to my room to introduce themselves. I believed "they got it all" and I was "cured". Apparently it was more involved than the PET scan showed...and the staging went from 1A to somewhere between 2B and 3A. Those "odds" didn't appeal to me - 13-24%. Both doctors told me that I should not look at the stats as I don't fall into the usual category. I'm younger than the people in the statistic group, never been sick, have no other health issues, and didn't lose any weight, had no shortness of breath, wasn't coughing up anything and had no clue that I was "sick" (sometimes the cure is worse than the disease - it was for me up to this point.)

I started radiation on the 13th of January 2010, chemo on the 15th (cisplatin). On the 18th I started a week's worth of Etoposide (daily) and on Friday of this week I'll not only do the Etoposide, but the cisplatin as well. (Apparently Etoposide aka VP-16 doesn't make you throw up, it's the cisplatin.) After having imbibed intravenously of the cisplatin I really wanted to make the acquaintance of the porcelain throne but just dry heaves and I decided to forget it and just kind of cry a bit and swallow a lot!

This whole thing is no fun at all. *I choose life** My ribs, lung, my whole left side hurts but! I can sleep on either side again without too much pain (and it's been almost 5 weeks now). The radiation makes me feel like I have heartburn (I don't care that the tech says I shouldn't feel that yet and "it has to be the chemo"....) Maybe I'm a bit of a hypochondriac...

Etoposide (VP-16) is the chemo that will wilt my hair...not to worry though, I have two great wigs hiding in my closet waiting for the light of day. VP-16 isn't supposed to make me feel nauseous but they dosed me with anti-nausea enough for 3 days...thank you, thank you, thank you!

I would like to let people know how I'm feeling, what this is costing (not to get money, but just for those going through this who are curious - thankfully I have insurance), and the ups and downs of the physical as well as emotional side of having cancer. This disease makes me feel so isolated...then I sit in the chemo or radiation treatment area and see so many people...all ages...some very very young...and realize I have lived a wonderful life, with a handful of tremendous friends...and loving children.

Thirty some years ago my mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and went through chemo, radiation and something I remember being called "mustard" treatments. It was a horrible ordeal and I was very scared thinking my experience would resemble my mom's. Medicine has changed in the past 30 years.

January 19, 2010

Join me next time for the costs (submitted to insurance) as well as my incredible family and support network.